Wednesday, December 22, 2010

S&M HUNTER (1986)

While doing some research about Yutaka Ikejima, the director of THE JAPANESE WIFE NEXT DOOR, I came across this 1986 shocker about a gay dude who's boyfriend has been kidnapped by an all female high school gang and forced to have sex with them against his will. The gay guy is desperate so he enlists the help of "S&M Hunter" to rescue his boyfriend. S&M Hunter is a friendly sadist who, faster than a blink of an eye, can tie up a woman and give her pleasure she didn't even know was imaginable. What he doesn't know is the newest member of the gang is the girl who knocked out one of his eyeballs in their last fight. She also dresses up like a Nazi SS officer for some unknown reason.

At only an hour long there's no time to bullshit. It's all action and sex the entire movie with only the barest amount of time spent on talking, but even then it's hilarious cause they say some crazy shit. I enjoyed S&M HUNTER a lot. The comic part were very funny, but I do have to complain that none of the girls were above averagee, so that really put a damper on the sex scenes.

I'm not sure if it's worth buying, but if you can find a copy to rent it's definitely worth watching. I was especially pleased at the seriousness to the two gay characters. It's rare to see a exploitation movie from the 1980's where the gay characters weren't treated as a joke.

THE JAPANESE WIFE NEXT DOOR (2004)

[Update 02/21/2021: need to redo this entire review and fix the screenshots.]

At a company mixer a guy meets an attractive young woman. They start seeing each other and six months later they get married and she moves in with his family...then the truth comes out: she's a raging nymphomaniac who cannot be satisfied. He tries and tries until finally he becomes impotent from the stress of all the nonstop fucking. He starts spending more hours at work and in her sexual frustration she seduces the entire family! Now his dad, the sister and grandpa have all become sex maniacs who want to do nothing more all day than stay at home and fuck his wife!

The running time for this little gem is only an hour, but it is packed to the gills with sex, nudity, insanity and funny moments.  I think the thing I like most about this movie, besides the humor, is the sex scenes are actually sexy! Yea, the idea of a woman seducing an entire family is perverse, especially when they're gang-banging, but from a clearly physical standpoint the sex scenes were fucking hot with interesting positions and spirited performances. This movie looks like it was a lot of fun to film. Also, it never delved into the lower depth's like Miike's VISITOR Q or Pasolini's TEOREMA (although the grandpa jizz scene was pretty disturbing), instead it just stayed light-hearted the entire movie.

I don't know much about the director Yutaka Ikejima, but I was very impressed with this outing.

Part 2 - The Japanese Wife Next Door Part 2 (2004)


I've never seen an audio commentary done like this before, but it's actually brilliant and I really enjoyed it.

SPANKING LOVE (1995)

I watched this years ago and I guess I'm a masochist myself cause here I am watching it again and you know what? I actually liked it alright this time around. It's still too long, there's not enough nudity and the story is kind silly, but it was entertaining in a late night cable softcore S&M kind of way.

A director of adult films is scheduled to make a whipping video, but at the last moment his female talent bails so now he desperately goes out on the street and asks a passing girl if she'd be in the video. She agrees and when the video catches the eye of a local masochist rich dude (played by Renji Ishibashi) he will stop at nothing to get her to perform at his club because he can see in her eyes that she is a "true sadist"...or something like that. It's all too confusing for it's own good. I seriously doubt anybody who rents something called SPANKING LOVE is looking for a story. They're probably looking for some kinky spanking shit to go down. Well, they're going to be disappointed cause despite the subject matter there's only a limited amount of nudity and none of the S&M shit is erotic at all. The main scene at the beginning actually had me giggling cause the dude doing the whipping gets so fucking wound up he actually misses the girl a lot and ends up just beating the crap out of an old mattress!

The main satisfaction I got out of the movie was watching Renji Ishibashi completely throw himself into the role including multiple shoe licking scenes and even making out with another dude!!! That turned my stomach a little seeing he tongue zipping in and out of the other dudes mouth but whatever.

Good for a laugh, but not a jack. Watch THE JAPANESE WIFE NEXT DOOR instead.
Renji Ishibashi kissing another dude!!!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

MOSQUITO (1995)

The back of the VHS states "In the terrifying tradition of Alien and Predator comes Mosquito..."  That's a lie.  The only time anybody has ever mentioned ALIEN or PREDATOR in the same breath as MOSQUITO is if they said "I wish I was watching ALIEN or PREDATOR instead of this bullshit!"

Any horror fan who watched late-night cable regularly back around the turn of the century probably saw MOSQUITO multiple times.  I know I did.  Back then, it was mildly entertaining in a light-weight, low-budget, I'm-too-tired-to-change-the-channel sort of way, but watching it again completely awake for this review, I really had a hard time getting through it.  Boring story (large mosquitoes attack a camp site full of dorks), forgettable characters, unnatural dialogue, amateur acting, one totally limp nude scene, lame attempts at comedy, slow pace, meh camerawork that started to get on my nerves after awhile, poor lighting, unsatisfying ending.  I know (based on the surprisingly entertaining 75-minute "making of" supplement on the disc) that the filmmakers meant well and worked hard with very limited resources, but that still doesn't make it a good movie.

Maybe other fans of 1990's low-budget horror will be more forgiving than me, but I'm burned out on this movie and hope I never have to sit through it ever again.

One highlight was seeing Gunnar Hansen play a normal role with actual lines.  That was neat, but the novelty wore off quickly.  I bet Gunnar signed over 10,000 TCM posters, but less than a dozen MOSQUITO posters!
I honestly can't think of another movie where a frog just randomly jumps out of an actors pocket.