Showing posts with label Ashley Greene. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ashley Greene. Show all posts

Sunday, March 31, 2013

BREAKING DAWN - PART 2 (2012)

Oh joy of joys! We finally get to see Bella in true vampire form doing vampire stuff.  Was it as awesome?  Hell yeah!  Was there tons of cheesy dialogue?  You know it, homie.

After what seemed like the longest opening credits of all time, we finally get to see Bella the vampire.  New born Bella can't be trusted yet to be around her half-human child, so she goes out and wrestles a mountain lion and feeds.  Afterwards, she sees her baby, Renesmee, and learns that werewolf Jacob has "imprinted" on the baby which is some kind of weird werewolf soul mate arranged marriage kind of thing.  Sounds really fucking weird and probably illegal in every state except Mississippi.  Anyway, the assholes over at the Volturi find out about Renesmee and mistakenly think that she's an "immortal child" and therefore all of the Cullens clan have to die.  The rest of the film is just build up to the massive vampire vs. vampires with superpower vs. werewolves superbrawl at the end.  All I'm gonna say is there were a lot of heads getting ripped off.

I'm really quite sad to see this series come to an end, since I got so much enjoyment and laughs out of it.  But, oh well, here's hoping there's a spinoff somewhere down the line.  I'm still holding my breath for an Alice only film.

Part 1 - Twilight (2008)
Part 2 - The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
Part 3 - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
Part 4 - The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011)

Saturday, December 15, 2012

THE APPARITION (2012)

The only reason to watch this stinker is Ashley Greene.

Young couple live in a big house.  Creepy stuff starts to happen cuz somebody pissed off a ghost.  Yawn.

Zero scares, zero blood, zero gore, zero tits, zero sense.  Fuck this boring turd.