Saturday, July 4, 2009

STONE COLD (1991)

"I will peel your skin off with a knife dipped in shit."

This movie is awesome!!!  Armed with an indestructible mullet Joe Tough, err, I mean, Joe Huff removes his shirt and infiltrates The Brotherhood, a murderous gang of gun-runnin', drug dealin' Nazi bikers (lead by Lance Henriksen), who are out to kill a high-level politician.

That's all you need to know besides the fact that this movie is pure early 90's action badassness!!! How badass you ask? Well, 13 out of 10 doctors recommend that you were an athletic support when you watch STONE COLD because there have been documented instances of people watching STONE COLD suddenly getting their balls kicked up around their ears by some invisible, sweaty-smelling force. So, be warned, if you're watching this movie unprotected and you suddenly smell a musky, manly smell then wave good-bye to your testicles cause them shits are about to be kicked up into the ceiling fan! Bam!

One of the best action movies of the early 90's and a must buy for action fans.  Double-feature with COMMANDO.

Bizarre fact: Michael Douglas, yes that Michael Douglas, was a co-producer on this movie. Crazy, huh?

NSFW early 90's nudity.