Monday, July 13, 2009

CALVAIRE (2004)

[Update 03/08/2021: Need to redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

Some guy takes a wrong turn in the woods and gets pumped in the butt. As exciting as that sounds...it's not. Mainly due to the fact that there's way too much time wasted watching this idiot walking around completely oblivious to the signs his butthole is in imminent danger. Seeing some hillibillies gangbanging a calf would have been more than enough to make me get the hell out of there...I'd rather risk starving to death in the woods than to let those inbreds near my hole, but no not this guy. Strange shit happens and he just keeps hanging around until finally they beat him up, shave his head, crucify him and buttsecks the hell out of his ripe hole.

Not really worth watching, but if you do feel free to skip the first 45 minutes.