Sunday, March 10, 2024

THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW (1975)

"The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming."

Late one evening, as the Devil was beating his wife, a young couple have a puncture on a secluded road. They walk to a nearby home to look for a phone. Once inside, they discover that the occupants are quite unusual.

If I could only watch one movie for the rest of my life, it would be THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW. It’s always been there for me and in times of bottomless sorrow (like now, for example) it brings me joy.

I’m sure that if I wasn’t extremely depressed I could write many, many pretty words about Rocky Horror, but I cannot right now. Maybe one day. As for now I just wanted to make a simple post about my favorite movie of all time.

I’m sure that tonight I will fall asleep once again in a heartbroken state protected by its soft glow. The music at low volume singing a little. I haven’t quite let it die and we sleep together like that with our secret pact and it's nice enough to make a man weep, but I don't weep, do you?

Some posts I made about Rocky Horror on my other blog.

Monday, March 4, 2024

KING OF THE UNDERWORLD (1939)

A married sawbones works in secret for the King of the Underworld (Humphrey Bogart) patching up hoodlums for some extra scratch to bet on the ponies.  One evening while sewing up a gangster who was shot in a getaway stick, the trigger-happy bulls start blasting the joint. When the gat smoke clears, the doctor is wearing a Chicago overcoat.  The local (crooked) DA is out for blood so he falsely accuses the surgeon’s widow (who is also a doctor) of being in cahoots with the mob as well.  She’s not.  Boring shit happens and before you can say, “I wish Forever Grey would make a 9-minute cover of the Def Leppard song Hysteria.” both the doctor and the King of the Underworld are in the same small town doing all kinds of riveting things.  The doctor treats an innocent man who was ventilated by a stray bullet then pays off her grocery store bill.  The King of the Underworld yells at his men while they change a flat tire and then works on his autobiography.  It’s exciting stuff.  And speaking of excitement, don’t even get me started on the thrilling climax featuring eye drops!  I was peeing my Ewok Underoos as I shivered with antici



pation.

At only 67 minutes you would think that the film would fly by, but nope.  This mother is slow!  Average acting, unattractive scenery, boring sets, lame dialogue, by the numbers story filled with paper thin characters, goofy ending.  As a gangster movie KING OF THE UNDERWORLD is too tame and as a melodrama KING OF THE UNDERWORLD is still too tame.  The entire thing is as weak as H.R. Pickens.  Worth a watch, I guess, for Bogart fans.  Then again, I love Humphrey Bogart and even I found his performance to be uninspired.  Yeah, see?